With a second mountain recycle under our belts all we can do now is hope and pray this is the last one. If he gets another one he will be sent home to come back and try again at a later date. hope and pray when ranger school starts back up this time he makes it all the way through, no more recycles. the number of days we have left are more than the number of days of ranger school all together!!! that would be thanks to the best ranger competition.
my life has been in a bit of an up roar lately....i a currently staying with a friend in NC and there ain't no tan berets on fort bragg.
here is a plus side to the ranger competition and this looooong recycle status. PHONE CALLS!!!! he calls me every night, sometimes 3 times a night! we are trying to plan our wedding over the phone! silly us!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Sunday, April 14, 2013
a second chance at Mountains
i got another letter in the mail today! i was so excited! it was dated the 7th and post dated the 9th, today is the 14th, this letter took forever to get to me! lol. i am including a little bit of his letter, he wrote this as he was in recycle land, telling me how it was in mountains FTX
"day 2, it's crazy what happens in the field when it starts raining. no one wants to move, take a knee or lay down if it's cold and rainy. so i've been gone for eh, like a month now my hands are pretty messed up and it's mountains FTX day 2. another ambush day, we were so busy i had no time to write in my book. i did security at the ORP which is our staging area for an ambush. we picked up and went to our next location, it started to get cold then, being cold and dry sucks. now imagine being cold and walking through a small river in 33 degree weather. cadre said we could harden ourselves to an extent, but at some point hypothermia will get you. so we walked through the creek a few times, the cadre decided it was too cold to sleep in a patrol base. at one point i fell in the water and was wet to my knees. we were gonna get tents but we had to go through one more creek to get to the tent. so we get to the tent form up and get in the tent. it was about 15 ft wide 30 ft long and there was 42 of us plus our stuff. i was so numb it took me an hour to change into a whole dry uniform. i can change into uniform in under 15 minutes on a regular day, typically 5-10, but i was messed up."
thinking about him practically killing himself out there in mountains breaks me into a million pieces. i know why he is doing this, and he and i both agree it is better that he does this now and get it over with...it doesn't make it any easier. i am making it a day at a time...he told me he takes it a meal at a time i have over a month until his new 'tentative' graduation . i just have to keep going....just keep going, they say Ranger School isn't for the faint of heart, well that goes for us significant other too.
although the time apart really really sucks i know it is all worth it, it is going to be so amazing when i get to look into his beautiful brown eyes again, when i can see that beautiful smile beaming across his beautiful face. when i can hug him and smell him again and here him tell me he loves me...that is something you don't realize how much you will miss. don't ever take it for granted, not a single second....when i finally get to be in the arms of my Ranger i am never going to let him go, i am going to hold on to every hug, every kiss, every stare. no matter what he wants to do, if he wants to run around in a parking lot some where acting absolutely stupid, i will be there next to him....it doesnt matter. i cant wait! the countdown is on and each day i make it through is one day closer to the love of my life!!!
"day 2, it's crazy what happens in the field when it starts raining. no one wants to move, take a knee or lay down if it's cold and rainy. so i've been gone for eh, like a month now my hands are pretty messed up and it's mountains FTX day 2. another ambush day, we were so busy i had no time to write in my book. i did security at the ORP which is our staging area for an ambush. we picked up and went to our next location, it started to get cold then, being cold and dry sucks. now imagine being cold and walking through a small river in 33 degree weather. cadre said we could harden ourselves to an extent, but at some point hypothermia will get you. so we walked through the creek a few times, the cadre decided it was too cold to sleep in a patrol base. at one point i fell in the water and was wet to my knees. we were gonna get tents but we had to go through one more creek to get to the tent. so we get to the tent form up and get in the tent. it was about 15 ft wide 30 ft long and there was 42 of us plus our stuff. i was so numb it took me an hour to change into a whole dry uniform. i can change into uniform in under 15 minutes on a regular day, typically 5-10, but i was messed up."
thinking about him practically killing himself out there in mountains breaks me into a million pieces. i know why he is doing this, and he and i both agree it is better that he does this now and get it over with...it doesn't make it any easier. i am making it a day at a time...he told me he takes it a meal at a time i have over a month until his new 'tentative' graduation . i just have to keep going....just keep going, they say Ranger School isn't for the faint of heart, well that goes for us significant other too.
although the time apart really really sucks i know it is all worth it, it is going to be so amazing when i get to look into his beautiful brown eyes again, when i can see that beautiful smile beaming across his beautiful face. when i can hug him and smell him again and here him tell me he loves me...that is something you don't realize how much you will miss. don't ever take it for granted, not a single second....when i finally get to be in the arms of my Ranger i am never going to let him go, i am going to hold on to every hug, every kiss, every stare. no matter what he wants to do, if he wants to run around in a parking lot some where acting absolutely stupid, i will be there next to him....it doesnt matter. i cant wait! the countdown is on and each day i make it through is one day closer to the love of my life!!!
Silly Lori, bad at math!
so far this week i have managed to make two major math flubs! one, not so serious, unless you count my sanity! was mistakenly thinking i only had 4 more weeks of missing my ranger, ah i was wrong! i have 5! the other mistake....i have a traffic ticket, i thought my court date was the 28th, guess what! i was wrong it was yesterday! i called to confirm the time of the court date and they told me i missed it, i asked if i could reschedule and the lady said (very rudely) "no you have already missed and rescheduled then missed again!" i said "no ma'am i didn't the only time i have ever missed was yesterday and it was a mistake, i thought my court date was set for the 28th, the court rescheduled my last court date due to a clerical error, i have never missed! what am i supposed to do!? i have never been in trouble and i don't want a warrant because of a traffic ticket!!" the only thing she said was something about "but may....(i have no clue what that was about..) march 4th that's Monday." that was pretty much the end of the convo.....thank God i got it rescheduled, hope the judge doesn't rip me a new one! lol...i was turning pretty hysterical and i think she could tell....after i got off the phone i sat on my bed and cried...these little petty things are the ones that get to me the most, the ones i need my ranger for, to make me laugh about... how he can't have me going to jail :) his 'hardened' criminal...
one of the hardest things about him being in ranger school is not being able to talk to him, he always makes everything ok, and with out him i feel a little bit lost.....like i am just thrown out in this cruel mean world alone...i wish i had the luxury of a mother who cared more, or friends who like me, didn't have much of a life, lol..i work and i sit at home, i guess that is part of being an adult.
i knew getting into a relationship with a man in the army would be hard, i wondered if i was tough enough...i know i would go to any lengths to love this man, so i guess i am strong enough. because here i am. only 38 more days! that is 5 weeks 3 days! yay
one of the hardest things about him being in ranger school is not being able to talk to him, he always makes everything ok, and with out him i feel a little bit lost.....like i am just thrown out in this cruel mean world alone...i wish i had the luxury of a mother who cared more, or friends who like me, didn't have much of a life, lol..i work and i sit at home, i guess that is part of being an adult.
i knew getting into a relationship with a man in the army would be hard, i wondered if i was tough enough...i know i would go to any lengths to love this man, so i guess i am strong enough. because here i am. only 38 more days! that is 5 weeks 3 days! yay
Thursday, April 4, 2013
GO! no go?
this is phone call eve! so with the phone call looming all i can do is freak out! of course there is a side of me that is scared, if he recycles he has a 6 week wait (best ranger competition ) and then another 6 weeks for Mountains and Florida....so if he recycles it will be a little over 20 weeks that he will be away...that is 5 months. in his most recent letter he said "I'll call you but wont have much time, so be honest if i chose to recycle and stay the 6 weeks, even though it's painful... could you do it?" could i do it? that is a loaded question...i know i am going to be a mess.....i have yet to learn how to deal with separation like this....i could do it if i were able to hear his voice, that would make all the difference! but this is ranger school and that isnt an option, except for about a minute and a half every 3 weeks (if you're lucky)....IF he calls and delivers the dreaded new i am going to tell him that it is going to be the hardest thing i have ever done...but i will do what i have to so that he can follow his dream, if he is willing to be the one who is actually IN ranger school i can be the one living out here in the real world...waiting. to tell you the truth it may very nearly kill me....as much as i don't want to admit this i am going to be a disgusting mess....staying in bed, crying, feeling sorry for myself mess.
i have to keep telling myself "everything in Gods time."
so i will tell him "it will be the hardest thing i have ever done, but i'm with you." the rest is up to him.
but i can't help but feel a sense of peace in my heart....i was driving today, right after getting a letter from Dale telling me he had a few mark....totally about to lose my cool, crying like a baby, when a voice in my head said "keep the faith" and the tears stopped. believe me or not, but i know where that voice came from. like i said everything in Gods time....a part of me knows i have no reason to worry....i've always been one to expect the worst, makes the best even better.
time is crawling.....i probably have a little over 24 hours to go. praying for that GO!!
i have to keep telling myself "everything in Gods time."
so i will tell him "it will be the hardest thing i have ever done, but i'm with you." the rest is up to him.
but i can't help but feel a sense of peace in my heart....i was driving today, right after getting a letter from Dale telling me he had a few mark....totally about to lose my cool, crying like a baby, when a voice in my head said "keep the faith" and the tears stopped. believe me or not, but i know where that voice came from. like i said everything in Gods time....a part of me knows i have no reason to worry....i've always been one to expect the worst, makes the best even better.
time is crawling.....i probably have a little over 24 hours to go. praying for that GO!!
Monday, April 1, 2013
some helpful stuff!
so here are just a few things i do and Dale really seems to like them
i send him gum only letters, he has had no problem getting them and it hasnt caused any issues thus far he says "your gum letter saved me!" i know a lot of the other ladies do this too and my guy said it was "ingenious" i tape the gum down, i have mentioned this in an earlier post but it never hurts to remind everyone! i also buy manila envelopes 5X7 size
what i like to do is take a piece of notebook paper and fold it in half then i tape each piece of gum to the paper, i can get about 30 piece on one sheet i also like to write on each wrapper what the flavor of the gum is, that way he can easily identify which piece he would like to eat first.
another thing i did that i think you should consider when your Ranger is at ranger school is a phone card. i bought an at&t phone card with 150 minutes on it at wal-mart for $9.96 it is re loadable also. now in order to be able to reload the card you would need to keep the card so what i did was write down all the instructions on a piece of paper on which i also included my cell number, my moms number, my friends number, and my work number. i then "laminated" it with tape and sent that to him. this way he can use the card but i can reload it if needed.
this is helpful to and i got this idea from the Ranger wives support group i am a member of
a bank account GO or RECYCLE code a purchase of or withdrawal of $40. for a GO and one of $20. if he recycles. this only works if you have access to his bank account. i do not have access to my guys account but his mother is his financial guardian while he is at ranger school so i told her the code and she is on the look out.
i think it is very important to keep a clear line of communication with family and friends of your Ranger, remember as hard as it is sometimes, you are not the only one who is suckin' right now, the first thing i do when i have any news from Dale is contact his mom. so if and when he calls me this week to let me know the first thing i will do after we hang up is let his mom know what is going on.
if i think of anything else i will be sure to blog it, but for now this is it.....i hope everyone is having a great spring so far! come on warmer weather!
i send him gum only letters, he has had no problem getting them and it hasnt caused any issues thus far he says "your gum letter saved me!" i know a lot of the other ladies do this too and my guy said it was "ingenious" i tape the gum down, i have mentioned this in an earlier post but it never hurts to remind everyone! i also buy manila envelopes 5X7 size
what i like to do is take a piece of notebook paper and fold it in half then i tape each piece of gum to the paper, i can get about 30 piece on one sheet i also like to write on each wrapper what the flavor of the gum is, that way he can easily identify which piece he would like to eat first.
another thing i did that i think you should consider when your Ranger is at ranger school is a phone card. i bought an at&t phone card with 150 minutes on it at wal-mart for $9.96 it is re loadable also. now in order to be able to reload the card you would need to keep the card so what i did was write down all the instructions on a piece of paper on which i also included my cell number, my moms number, my friends number, and my work number. i then "laminated" it with tape and sent that to him. this way he can use the card but i can reload it if needed.
this is helpful to and i got this idea from the Ranger wives support group i am a member of
a bank account GO or RECYCLE code a purchase of or withdrawal of $40. for a GO and one of $20. if he recycles. this only works if you have access to his bank account. i do not have access to my guys account but his mother is his financial guardian while he is at ranger school so i told her the code and she is on the look out.
i think it is very important to keep a clear line of communication with family and friends of your Ranger, remember as hard as it is sometimes, you are not the only one who is suckin' right now, the first thing i do when i have any news from Dale is contact his mom. so if and when he calls me this week to let me know the first thing i will do after we hang up is let his mom know what is going on.
if i think of anything else i will be sure to blog it, but for now this is it.....i hope everyone is having a great spring so far! come on warmer weather!
Almost done?!?
the recycle was really hard on me. God willing we only have 25 days left, and only 23 until i am in Ga. again!! i am in love with Georgia! it will always be on of my favorite places on earth, maybe it is the sun, maybe it is the people...Georgia will always be special for me and my Ranger.
he is nearing the end of mountains and i am expecting a phone call on friday or saturday! from his letters i have gathered that he has been doing really well. i am expecting a GO! the class that he was originally in just finished Fl. they will be graduating this week!!! i am so happy for you ladies! congratulations to you and your Rangers!!! take your men home and baby them! make sure they eat good!!
of course the thought "that could have been Dale...:(" crosses my mind, but i need to be a little bit stronger...envy and bitterness are ugly and aren't two qualities i want to have, not when i have so much to be thankful for! here is a list of things i am thankful for:
he is nearing the end of mountains and i am expecting a phone call on friday or saturday! from his letters i have gathered that he has been doing really well. i am expecting a GO! the class that he was originally in just finished Fl. they will be graduating this week!!! i am so happy for you ladies! congratulations to you and your Rangers!!! take your men home and baby them! make sure they eat good!!
of course the thought "that could have been Dale...:(" crosses my mind, but i need to be a little bit stronger...envy and bitterness are ugly and aren't two qualities i want to have, not when i have so much to be thankful for! here is a list of things i am thankful for:
- i have a man who loves me for me. i could go on for pages about how amazing he is, but if you read my blog i am sure you already know how i feel about him! lol
- i have been lucky to receive 15 letters so far each about 5 pages, some even longer! and i'm talking full notebook pages.
- although money is tight i have been lucky enough to be able to find a way to make it. my mother told me God would provide, she was right and i am grateful.
- Dale recycled and was lucky enough to get 2 whole weeks of healing, eating, and rest! he got to go back into mountains re energized and with a new attitude!
- i have a job that i love, it isn't my ideal job but i work with amazing people and i know that makes all the difference!
- i even have a few good friends!
- i have lost so much weight!
- my plane ticket is booked!
there are a lot of reasons to be happy and grateful. i am alive and healthy and those are two giant reasons.
anyway.....i am confident i will have good new for you all this weekend! so blog to you soon!
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